Let’s get on this.
The basics: It’s 10 years after the last SVH book, and Liz is one sad sap. She’s 27 and living in New York City in a shabby apartment. I’m not going to lie to you, I chuckled to myself seeing that she isn’t a rich and famous journalist like she always probably assumed she would be. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Instead, Liz reviews off-Broadway shows for a struggling weekly publication called Show Survey. It is run by two dudes named David Stephenson and Don Barren. The book opens with her letting David into her apartment just as Jessica calls from California. Liz won’t pick up the phone. David keeps making nosy comments about it but has the good sense to look embarrassed about his nosiness. I guess that’s something.
Liz serves David wine and contemplates sleeping with him. He is attracted to her, so it would be easy, but she has rules about not sleeping with the boss. She thinks about how she worked for Sweet Valley News for four years and it never happened there, but that’s because she was with Todd the whole time.
Liz and Jessica had some kind of falling-out eight months ago that caused Liz to flee to New York right around her 27th birthday. She miraculously found a job two days after abruptly moving there. She also mentions something about a guy’s “deceit and betrayal” that may have lasted “years” for all she knew. Okay, so we can already see what happened right? Liz probably found out that Jessica was making out with/doing it with/trying to steal Todd. Wow, it’s never too late to rehash another tired old plot.
Through Liz’s thoughts, we learn that Bruce Patman is her best friend, and he’s somehow changed in a good way. Riiiight, that’s what we thought with the whole Regina thing, too. Did old Brucie ever tell you he was sorry for trying to rape you that one time, Liz?
So Liz doesn’t sleep with David and she sends him on his way. In the meantime, we get some very cheesy nonsense in the form of Liz listening to Beyonce and Justin Timberlake songs and feeling sad about it. Why, “Summer Love” almost makes her cry! HAHAHA! Even though she’s fled Sweet Valley, Liz still wears an oversized Sweet Valley T-shirt to bed. Not an SVU shirt, just an … SV shirt? What? They make those?
We learn Liz was sleeping with a dude named Russ Klein here in NYC for a brief period of time, but he didn’t like the emotions she was bringing to the table, probably because “she cried after every orgasm.” So he drifted away, and she hasn’t done it with anyone else since she moved to the Big Apple. Oh waaaah.
Oh, and Liz is now 5’7″ tall, not 5’6. What the fuck is up with that?
My thoughts: I hope the whole book doesn’t revolve around Liz like this. She’s boring. But the chapter did interest me because we got more description of sex than I was used to reading in an SV book. Since it’s supposed to be an adult novel, that makes sense – and I’m glad they didn’t try to be all euphemistic about it. The words “sex” and “orgasm” are used. Thank you for that, Francine.
The chapter wasn’t all that, but I am still left salivating for more! One thing I wonder is: Do I also need to read the SVH:SY, SVU, and Elizabeth series to catch up and understand what goes on in Sweet Valley Confidential?