A 30-something's lovingly sarcastic journey through all of Sweet Valley High, and then some (with lots of swears)

Enid and Jessica

I was trying to re-organize my SV books last night because they keep falling all over the place. This inevitably lead to me poring over the first 10 or so books all over again. And I happened to flip through some of book 2, Secrets, and came across a tidbit I don’t think I mentioned before. For starters, Jessica has been calling Enid “Eeny Rollins” (the fuck?) and making fun of her right from the get-go in book 1. But in a conversation with Alice in book 2, we learn that Jessica was the one who tried to be Enid’s friend first. But Enid clearly preferred Liz’s company, and Jessica has never gotten over it … hence the real reason for her hatred of “Eeny.” Wow, is this ever mentioned again? In every other book that talks about how Liz and Enid became best friends, I read that Liz met Enid in English class and they instantly bonded. The thought of Jessica trying to be friends with a loser like Enid is hysterical!

Anyway, that’s what’s cool about skimming back through the original books, almost 2 years after I first started this Snark Valley project. Those books mention all kinds of goodies that will later be discounted like they never happened. Some of them really surprised me when I read back over them. Like the following (most of which I already covered in previous entries):

*Lila and Cara both dated Bruce before Jessica, and he dumped them. Lila and Bruce were serious enough that she considers herself an “expert” on him.
*Bruce chose Lila over Jessica in tenth grade!
*Lila once dated Aaron Dallas.
*Winston has known George Warren forever and they’re really good friends.
*John Pfeifer considered taking Annie Whitman out and got ragged on for it by the rest of the track team.
*Liz notes that Cara Walker and John Pfeifer look awfully cozy at the Dairi Burger one day … they’re sharing the “clam special.” LMFAO
*People used to call Ken Matthews “Kenny” – like, on a regular basis. And people called Jessica “Jessie.”
*Lila’s date at Enid’s Sweet 16 was Tom McKay. Cara’s was Ken Matthews. And Jessica decides to set Julie Porter up with Danny Stauffer for same party because they will be “perfect” for each other … what? Really? Is this the same nerdy ass Julie from book 47 who had never even kissed a boy? I seem to recall Jessica had to promise Danny a little somethin’-somethin’ to get him to go out with her even though she had her babysitting charges in tow.
*AND in book 5, Julie Porter goes to a surfing competition with Ken as her date! That is SO weird. I bet Bruce ragged on Ken like crazy for that one.
*Olivia has a cousin named Amy, or something. And she (Olivia) had an unnamed boyfriend who believed in offshore drilling and that pissed her off.
*Other areas around Sweet Valley include Sand Pines and Castle Cove, where all the “college kids” hang out … oooooooh. (That’s where Jess goes with that Scott dude.)
*Annie Whitman used to model. Oh, who hasn’t in this town.
*There is a chick named Heather Morgan in the earliest books who sounds very popular but never has any speaking lines (that I could find) or is mentioned ever again. (Or is she? Maybe she will suddenly reappear many books from now?)
*Enid is the youngest kid in the 11th grade because she skipped a year of high school.
*Enid and Todd had siblings that have since disappeared.
*Steven is named after his father’s dead friend and couldn’t give any less of a shit.
*The Wakefields had just put the pool in the backyard in Double Love, but it exists in all the other earlier SV series, does it not?
*The twins and their friends used to drink alcohol, not soda and orange juice, at their parties. No, really, they did!!!

…Oh, and Lila has a whole other history, don’t forget, with the mystery of her real father and her pining for the love of her life and deep desire to be a tennis pro and all that. I am SO curious if a book was ever written that explored this shit and it just wasn’t released for some reason. What happened to all the SV manuscripts that got rejected? You gotta tell me they’re still out there!

I’m thinkin’ I like the earlier books way better than the ones I’m reading now.


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