A 30-something's lovingly sarcastic journey through all of Sweet Valley High, and then some

Archive for April, 2012

The Sweet Life: The Covers

All six “covers” of the upcoming The Sweet Life e-book series have been released and are now on display on the Sweet Valley Confidential Facebook page. The first e-book is available on June 26th. You can get The Sweet Life in hardcover come October 30. I wish they would release both editions at the same time because I am a print book girl. You kids and your Kindles! Let’s take a minute to analyze these covers, shall we? (Fair warning: I’m sure most of you have read Confidential by now, but if you haven’t, there will be some spoilers in here as I speculate what these covers mean.)

The Sweet Life

There they are smirking at us and shit … woooooo, look at me and my sweet life! At least, the twin up front is smirking. The one in the back looks a little less pleased, or maybe shy. I wonder if these are the same models from the SVC cover.

Lies & Omissions

People are lying and omitting in this book, so there will be some good drama, I hope. That boy in the back looks like he’s still in high school. He’s also shirtless. And – Alicia Silverstone circa 1995, is that you? What do you think … are these people Todd and Jess, or Bruce and Liz? Or maybe … gasp! … Todd and Liz! Bruce and Jess!

Too Many Doubts

This cover and title bore me. I have the sickening feeling this is going to be about Liz doubting the depths of Bruce’s love for her or his ability to be a good husband, and/or Jessica worrying that Todd wants to pull another twin switch.

Secrets and Seductions

This title is going to drive me bonkers. You know why? Because Lies & Omissions has an ampersand in it and Secrets and Seductions does not. Consistency, people! Consistency! The cover is a breath of fresh air because it doesn’t have a twin on it. I see black hair so I assume that’s supposed to be Lila (even though she’s always had light brown hair). Good! Let this story not suck!

Cutting the Ties

Who do you think this girl is supposed to be? I would’ve said Lila but her hair is too light compared to the previous book. I don’t know. Cara, maybe? And who’s the dude?


Okay, another boring twin face, that looks kinda sad and/or resigned to fate. My guess is we only see one twin here because the other one died. I predict there will be an earthquake in which Jessica is pulverized by a falling fridge. Liz is able to hold her hand as she dies and say goodbye. Then she lies and says it’s Liz that died and she assumes Jessica’s identity. She’s realized that this is best because she and Todd were really meant for each other after all and now she can have him, so she takes Jessica’s place as Todd’s wife. Only then Todd realizes the truth because Liz sucks in bed compared to Jessica and also because Liz keeps wanting to play Scrabble and watch PBS, and so he takes her on a motorcycle ride but “forgets” her helmet, and sets it up so that Crunch hits them with his van again. Only this time Todd and Liz both die, and Crunch gets off scott-free after promising to get help for his drinking. The matching lavalieres are donated to the Sweet Valley Museum, but you can only view them from a distance and no flash photography is allowed.

Where is the Steven and Aaron cover? I think Aaron should leave Steven for Tom McKay.

Thoughts on the covers and titles? I’m really digging the rainbow of shades and throwback to the old covers myself. I just find most of these photos very blah. Do you plan to read this series? PS Yes, I do have the latest SVH post almost ready to go. I’m slow lately because not only am I planning a wedding, but my job sucks and I hate it. If I somehow survive tomorrow, I plan to post it then.

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