A 30-something's lovingly sarcastic journey through all of Sweet Valley High, and then some (with lots of swears)

All six “covers” of the upcoming The Sweet Life e-book series have been released and are now on display on the Sweet Valley Confidential Facebook page. The first e-book is available on June 26th. You can get The Sweet Life in hardcover come October 30. I wish they would release both editions at the same time because I am a print book girl. You kids and your Kindles! Let’s take a minute to analyze these covers, shall we? (Fair warning: I’m sure most of you have read Confidential by now, but if you haven’t, there will be some spoilers in here as I speculate what these covers mean.)

The Sweet Life

There they are smirking at us and shit … woooooo, look at me and my sweet life! At least, the twin up front is smirking. The one in the back looks a little less pleased, or maybe shy. I wonder if these are the same models from the SVC cover.

Lies & Omissions

People are lying and omitting in this book, so there will be some good drama, I hope. That boy in the back looks like he’s still in high school. He’s also shirtless. And – Alicia Silverstone circa 1995, is that you? What do you think … are these people Todd and Jess, or Bruce and Liz? Or maybe … gasp! … Todd and Liz! Bruce and Jess!

Too Many Doubts

This cover and title bore me. I have the sickening feeling this is going to be about Liz doubting the depths of Bruce’s love for her or his ability to be a good husband, and/or Jessica worrying that Todd wants to pull another twin switch.

Secrets and Seductions

This title is going to drive me bonkers. You know why? Because Lies & Omissions has an ampersand in it and Secrets and Seductions does not. Consistency, people! Consistency! The cover is a breath of fresh air because it doesn’t have a twin on it. I see black hair so I assume that’s supposed to be Lila (even though she’s always had light brown hair). Good! Let this story not suck!

Cutting the Ties

Who do you think this girl is supposed to be? I would’ve said Lila but her hair is too light compared to the previous book. I don’t know. Cara, maybe? And who’s the dude?

Bittersweet

Okay, another boring twin face, that looks kinda sad and/or resigned to fate. My guess is we only see one twin here because the other one died. I predict there will be an earthquake in which Jessica is pulverized by a falling fridge. Liz is able to hold her hand as she dies and say goodbye. Then she lies and says it’s Liz that died and she assumes Jessica’s identity. She’s realized that this is best because she and Todd were really meant for each other after all and now she can have him, so she takes Jessica’s place as Todd’s wife. Only then Todd realizes the truth because Liz sucks in bed compared to Jessica and also because Liz keeps wanting to play Scrabble and watch PBS, and so he takes her on a motorcycle ride but “forgets” her helmet, and sets it up so that Crunch hits them with his van again. Only this time Todd and Liz both die, and Crunch gets off scott-free after promising to get help for his drinking. The matching lavalieres are donated to the Sweet Valley Museum, but you can only view them from a distance and no flash photography is allowed.

Where is the Steven and Aaron cover? I think Aaron should leave Steven for Tom McKay.

Thoughts on the covers and titles? I’m really digging the rainbow of shades and throwback to the old covers myself. I just find most of these photos very blah. Do you plan to read this series? PS Yes, I do have the latest SVH post almost ready to go. I’m slow lately because not only am I planning a wedding, but my job sucks and I hate it. If I somehow survive tomorrow, I plan to post it then.

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Comments on: "The Sweet Life: The Covers" (11)

  1. SVH confidential was pretty terrible, yet I still pre-ordered the first Sweet Life book on amazon. Guess the sweet valley habit is hard to kick! Lol . I really hope Todd and Jessica break up, and Todd dies or goes away or something. He always annoyed the crap out of me.

  2. […] Confidential ebooks?  They’re up on the Sweet Valley Facebook page.  Snark Valley has a great rundown on the books and what readers can […]

  3. knitelf said:

    Ok, i know this is not on point for this entry, but i kept forgetting to tell you to keep your eye out for something. They did the first three books as books on tape, i may still have them in my old cassette carrier or something, i will have to check when i find the old tape carrier. They have different voices for the different characters and everything. The creepiest thing is that the narrator on the tapes is the same guy who is the narrator on forensic files on the crime channel. It took me forever to figure out where i knew his voice from when i was watching forensic files. Sometimes they pop up on amazon or ebay and if you can find them, they are worth buying.

    • Thanks for the heads up! I’m going to have to keep an eye out for those. I searched a few sites for them, but they are apparently pretty rare now. I bet somebody has a recording posted online, though.

      • If i can find mine in my tape cases, i have a nifty tool that will allow me to take tape to cd. I will burn you a copy.

    • Rofl at forensic files on crime channel. That’s hilarious! I must hunt down my old tapes. I remember having all 6 SVH tapes once upon a time (they did audio books for the first 6 books) and also 3 for the SVT series, but I haven’t found a lot of info to confirm this.

  4. I’m a print girl too! I understand how e-books are convenient for a lot of people, I just love the feel of a book in my hand! Can’t wait to see how incredibly bad these are going to be.

    • Same… also, after having read the synopsis (for installment #’s 1-4), they seem to be very much on par with the whole SVC-feel ‘n way of things. Have you by any chance heard the audio sample up on offer over on the official Amazon page?
      Sounds terrible already…

      • Just had a listen, and you’re right, did not think much of it. Will have to see what the fans think when it comes out next week

  5. The last book, it would be awesome if you’re right about hte last book. I hated Confidential… I also reviewed a few Sweet Valley Twins books as well as few other Sweet Valley specials such as four family sagas and evil twin series:

    http://sveta-randomblog.blogspot.com/search/label/Francine%20Pascal

    http://sveta-randomblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/book-review-of-sweet-valley.html

    http://sveta-randomblog.blogspot.com/

  6. Aubyn – that would be awesome. I hate that I’ve had to neglect this blog so much lately. Between wedding planning and fervent job-hunting, I’ve had a hard time finding a lot of time for myself! 😦 I plan to come back soon though.

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