This is it! The finale of the “Sweet Valley Horror” mini-series and the sixth Super Thriller … which is also part of the regular series somehow. Bizarre, I hate when they pull that crap. These werewolf books are so out of left field that you’d think they’d just make them ALL Super Thrillers. That way they can deny they’re canon later on if they want.
This cover is honestly pretty sweet, with the front cover being a simple overlay, showing a werewolf hand leaving claw marks. There’s a stepback illustration with the twins looking mildly offended by the wolf man snarling at them. And they have those dang trench coats once again. I’m guessing Jessica is the one on the left, since she is wearing a leopard-print coat. That doesn’t seem like Liz’s speed. Liz’s hands look really creepy to me. Where’s her stupid anti-werewolf pendant?
We start off the morning after the big press conference in which a warrant was issued for younger Robert’s arrest, based on some flimsy ass evidence. Liz is having breakfast at the HIS student housing with Portia and Emily, feeling smug as shit over her fabulous front-page article breaking the news about where Princess Eliana was. She’s also very pleased with herself that younger Robert is about to be arrested for being a werewolf. She, Portia, and Emily laugh about what an old bag their housemother is and how she flipped out over finding out she’d had a princess under her roof all this time. Just then, Jessica shows up and sees all the newspapers lying around with the “WEREWOLF” headlines. LOL, this is some tabloid shit. Jessica flips out yelling at Liz and while some of it is unfair (because it’s Jessica), a lot of it is pretty on the nose. She’s angry that Liz impersonated her to sneak around Pembroke Manor, and she calls Liz a “reverse snob” again for looking down on everyone with money. She makes fun of Liz for sitting on a high horse about breaking the Princess Eliana story like she’s the world’s greatest investigative reporter, even though Eliana came right out and told Liz who she was, so it’s not like Liz had to do much work. She mocks Liz and Luke for being “nuts” and “deluded” for believing in werewolves and for being so quick to believe that Robert is one. Liz’s response is to act shocked that Jessica would defend Robert since Robert tried to kill her … because Liz is convinced her circumstantial evidence is rock-solid proof. Jessica tells Liz she’ll never find a motive for Robert. The twins resolve never to speak to one another again. Liz thinks this is the worst fight they’ve ever had. It must be nice to have such a horrible short-term memory.
Liz takes a walk with her side piece Luke Shepherd in the park and thinks about how all memory of Todd Wilkins disappears when she’s with Luke. Real nice, although at this point, Todd is hardly a prize, so whatever. I just hate how Liz believes she’s better than literally everyone else. Liz whimpers at Luke that she’s feeling frightened, and he gives her a silver bullet to keep the werewolf away. Liz tells him she doesn’t have a gun, and he assures her it will protect her anyway. That afternoon, Liz and David Bartholomew take a ride to the palace to see Princess Eliana and have tea with the queen. Liz feels slightly guilty for not waking Jessica up to go with them, but Jessica later thinks she wouldn’t have gone anyway because she wants nothing to do with Liz. Uh, okay. I’m definitely not buying that Jessica Wakefield would turn down an invitation to chill with the Queen of England. Meanwhile, Liz asks herself if tea with the queen “is really that important” when people are dying and she has a mystery to solve. Oh my god, she’s so self-important and such a big martyr. While Liz is out, Jessica goes to hang out with Portia backstage, and Portia encourages Jessica to fight to clear Robert’s name. Then most of the kids go to see a classical music concert put on by Gabriello’s university music program, or something. Jessica actually enjoys herself.
The next day, Liz and Jess pointedly ignore each other at breakfast. Liz and David talk all about Princess Eliana’s luxurious palace housing and seem awfully impressed for two people who go out of their way to act like they don’t care about royalty or rich people. Surprisingly, nobody says shit about the Queen, so maybe Her Majesty didn’t have time for their wannabe bougie asses after all?
Jessica takes off with Emily under the guise of going shopping, then informs Emily she’s really going detective-ing instead. Poor Em. Jessica heads to the house/office of the dead Dr. Neville, one of the first werewolf victims, where she breaks in and flips through his medical files. She finds a file for Annabelle S. – she doesn’t know who that is because Liz hasn’t told her about the name in Lord Pembroke’s book. Jessica is intrigued since Annabelle’s file is the only one with no last name. Gee, maybe it’s Shepherd. The file says Annabelle died of pneumonia 8 years ago, but little else. Jessica hears someone coming, so she shoves the Annabelle file into her bag and dives through a window. Unbeknownst to either twin, the “someone” is just Liz breaking in. These kids are so fucking entitled. Look at me, I’m a Detective! I solve shit! Liz is at Dr. Neville’s because what Jessica said earlier got to her, and she wants to find Robert’s motive for yanking out people’s throats. I thought he was a werewolf … isn’t that the motive? LOL. Liz is so stupid. She finds younger Robert’s medical file and shoves it in her bag. Then she pokes through dead Dr. Neville’s Rolodex and finds a card for the “Pembroke nanny”, Mildred Price. She laughs to herself about how Robert must be with his nanny because he’s a rich entitled boy and that’s where boys like that run, and it’s SO smug and pretentious. If the ghostwriter wants me to hate Liz more than usual, they are doing a great job. Liz starts to write the nanny’s name and address down on some notepaper, then hears someone coming. Like an idiot, she leaves the notepaper with her writing on the desk, but snatches Mildred’s card out of the Rolodex. After she flees, the third intruder enters and it’s the “werewolf”, though they don’t tell us who it is and they don’t actually say he’s a werewolf. He prowls around sniffing the scent of the girls and takes note that someone wrote down “Nanny Millie’s” name because I guess we’re supposed to think it’s Robert. Nice try.
After Liz flees from Dr. Neville’s house, she meets Rene Glize for lunch and babbles on about her detective bullshit. Rene urges her to quit snooping around before she gets hurt and Liz says she can’t because Jessica might get eaten by a werewolf if she doesn’t. She gets back to the HIS housing to find Jessica and their friends are out watching Gabriello’s friend’s band play again. There’s a note from Portia inviting her to come join them, but Liz has more important things to do, such as mope around reading a letter from Todd and thinking about what a horrible girlfriend she is. Psych! Totally kidding on the part about the horrible girlfriend, Liz wouldn’t think that about herself. She takes off her werewolf pendant and sees that the initial “A” is engraved on the back. Could they hit us any harder with the obvious? Liz is all, “Huh, who’s “A”?” She realizes she doesn’t have Luke’s home phone number so she can’t call him. She wishes Luke would open up more about his life with his widowed father. Then she goes and shoves the pendant in Jessica’s work bag, because she thinks it’s selfish of her to keep it for herself when Jessica is really the one in trouble (or so Liz thinks). Liz gets points for wanting to protect her sister. She loses points because she wants to protect her sister from something imaginary. She loses even more points for being too stuck on hating wealthy people to realize that, hello, Luke is the one with something to hide here.
Monday morning arrives and Jessica oversleeps. Liz hems and haws about going to wake her up because she’s worried about Jessica having to commute to work alone, then ultimately decides not to wake her. Interesting how the one time Liz makes Jessica be accountable for herself, is when she thinks Jessica might die if she has to take care of herself. So Liz prances off to work by herself and catches some dark-haired young man with glasses following her, who veers off into a park when he realizes she’s seen him. She knows lots of dark-haired young men and isn’t sure who it is. Once she gets to the office, she finds Lucy Friday is back and has been promoted to editor-in-chief to replace Harry Reeves or Henry Reeves or whatever the fuck that man’s name was. Then Liz and Luke start nuzzling each other all over his desk and Luke gets upset Liz isn’t wearing her necklace. He tells Liz that it did indeed belong to his mom, Ann, who he got his werewolf fanaticism from. Liz doesn’t even make the connection between Ann and Annabelle. She promises Luke that Jessica will take good care of the necklace, even though Jess has no idea that shit is in her bag and could easily lose it. Then Tony Frank runs up to her and Luke as they’re busy canoodling, and informs them there’s been another werewolf murder.
Jessica wakes up and dashes off for the tube station, only to find she left her work bag in her dorm room. When she goes back to get it, she smells Robert’s cologne in her room and decides he must have been there to check up on her. She dashes outside to find him, then collapses bawling on the curb in front of a homeless man. (There’s lots of mention of homeless people in this mini-series BTW.)
Liz and Tony dash off to the scene of the latest murder, only to find it’s the Pembrokes’ old nanny, Mildred Price. Liz takes a moment to look upon Tony and rival reporter, Adam Silver of the London Post, with disdain because “to them, it’s just a story” or something, and Liz is obviously so much better than them. Then she starts bawling about how she could’ve saved Nanny Price by warning her that Robert was evil. Yeah, why didn’t you do that, Liz? You’ve been so convinced that Robert can sprout claws and fur at a moment’s notice and can’t shut up about it to anybody. YA DROPPED THE BALL! Haha, she’s so stupid. Tony has to comfort Liz in the midst of her bawling, because she’s determined to give Jessica a run for her money in the attention whore race. She also starts musing if this now proves Robert is the killer. Make up your fucking mind, Liz. You’ve only been running around for a couple weeks now, pissing your sister off yelling that all the evidence points squarely at Robert and the killer has to be him. But here you are acting like you aren’t sure.
Next, Liz and Tony interview Mildred Price’s granddaughter, Dolores. Dolores says that Robert Pembroke was staying there recently for a little bit. Liz yells out that “I was right!” because she’s a self-absorbed biddy. Dolores says that Robert left when the story broke about him being a killer because he said he didn’t want to bring trouble to his beloved old nanny. Liz and Tony press Dolores on every little detail she can remember about finding her grandma’s body because I’m sure the police didn’t cover that at all. Dolores bawls that Robert must have come back and murdered old Mil. I’m convinced that Liz and Tony don’t realize they are reporters and not police detectives.
Back at the newspaper office, Jessica appeals to the newly crowned editor-in-chief Lucy to make Jessica her own personal intern and Lucy agrees. Methinks Liz will hate that little development.
Liz and Tony run into Rene Glize, who gives some vague reasoning for why he’s in the neighborhood and acts like a weirdo. Wait, is HE supposed to be the werewolf? That would be odd if they brought him back for that shit. Then again, I’ve been scratching my head wondering what the point was of reintroducing him in this mini-series anyway. My best guess is he’s going to turn out to be a mystical werewolf slayer.
Back at the HIS dorm, someone enters the twins’ and Portia’s room and “paws” through things while “yowling.” I’m getting an image of a regular guy stomping around trying to act like a werewolf, and dying laughing. The intruder finds the letter from Todd Wilkins to Liz and rips it in half with his teeth. Haha, it’s definitely Luke, and if it’s not him it’s Rene. The “werewolf” also finds the medical files for Annabelle and Robert and is irritated that the twins must know about Annabelle. He looks for the silver bullet, but can’t find it. Oh god, there’s gonna be some showdown with that shit later, isn’t there. After ransacking the room, the intruder steals away with the two files, vowing to fight the twins to the death, or some old dramatic bullshit like that.
Jessica has a good first day as Lucy’s intern and is actually praised for her writing skills. Liz comes back in the office from her play-detective outing with Tony and, as predicted, is jealous at Jessica’s success. Die mad about it, ya B. Jessica finds Luke’s pendant in her bag and realizes Liz put it there. She doesn’t want to wear it, but ends up putting it on “against her will.” No, that’s what it says. Haha! She is hypnotized by the pentagram! She and Liz end up riding the tube home together and talk a bit, but without looking at each other. After they leave the office, Tony goes into Lucy’s office and asks her out, but she tells him their relationship is going to be strictly professional and he walks away dejected.
Back at the dorm, Liz, Jess, and Portia find their room ransacked, although Liz and Jess’s things were the only ones really touched, and the two files they stole are missing. The bullet is also missing, even though we know the intruder couldn’t find it. Sergeant Bumpo comes to investigate and he’s way, waaaay more bumbling than ever before. The fuck? He wasn’t THAT bad. After he leaves, they see him arrest a homeless man for stumbling around causing a ruckus. It’s the same homeless man that Jessica cried in front of before. I would say that it’s Robert in disguise, but I’m not clear why Robert would weave around calling attention to himself. Then again, I never said anyone in this book was smart. Portia and Jess go to dinner. Having heard about the room ransacking incident, Rene barges into Liz’s room to beg her to go back home to the U.S. with Jessica so they don’t get hurt. He offers to make all the arrangements, but Liz insists everything will be fine and goes out to dinner with Luke. As she and Jessica try to fall asleep that evening, Jessica starts thinking about Luke’s mother’s pendant and “Annabelle S.” and she excitedly wakes Liz up to ask what Luke’s mother’s name was. Liz mumbles that it’s “Ann” and Jessica is disappointed because that means Annabelle can’t possibly be Luke’s mother. Holy fucking SHIT these geniuses …
At work the next day, we learn the werewolf has attacked Lord Pembroke (the dad), but he’s survived somehow and is in intensive care. Luke, Tony and Liz gather around and talk totally objectively about how they can’t believe Robert would attack his own father and speculate like fucking crazy to come up with reasons he must have done it. Great journalists in action. Lucy gives Jessica the morning off because Jessica is upset, and tells her to look for ways to prove Robert’s innocent (even though Lucy also believes Robert is guilty). Jess goes to the hospital to meet with Lord Pembroke and the hospital staff just lets her into his room because she asked. Great security staff this royal family has. Lord Pembroke does some mumbling at Jessica about how he wanted to hunt a werewolf. Then he sees Jessica wearing Luke’s pendant and says it looks like one he once gave Annabelle, the only woman he ever loved. He implores Jessica to tell Robert the younger that he has a brother. Jessica fails to put two and two together and I’m about to tear my hair out. Old Lord Pembroke rasps at Jessica that his son loves her … and then he kicks the bucket. LOL just kidding, I’m just being cold on that last part about the bucket. Although in all honesty they kind of acted like he died after he said that … calling those his “final words.”
After meeting with Lord Pembroke, Jessica comes across Lady Henrietta Pembroke, his wife, in the hospital kitchen, hoping to talk to her. But as soon as she sees her, Lady Pembroke starts screaming at her about being a nosy American, and flings her coffee cup on the ground. Real high class there, Lady P. Jessica goes back to the office and works through her suspects list. She starts to go snoop in Luke’s desk, but he catches her and she has to make some shit up about a stapler.
Liz takes a train out to Pembroke Manor with Tony, who has a cold, which must mean it’s going to be convenient to the plot later. She is startled to see Rene on the same train platform as they’re boarding, but loses sight of him. She and Tony get to the manor house and just let themselves on in because there aren’t many servants around and I guess nobody locks their doors in this damn town. They prowl around the werewolf room for eons, and talk about how Robert must have been inspired to take on the persona of werewolf killer from his dad’s collection. What a couple of presumptuous ass wipes. There are two werewolf books inscribed to elder Robert by Annabelle, and one of them is in French. Then Liz finds a box disguised as a book, full of love letters from Annabelle. In her letters, she told Lord Pembroke he had to promise to take care of their son. The pair traipse out of the house to catch a taxi while the “werewolf” watches them from the woods on all fours. The werewolf then goes into the house, lets himself into the secret wolf room, grabs Annabelle’s letters and sniffs them, and howls “balefully.” I cannot stop laughing. Bravo, ghostwriter, seriously.
That night, Princess Eliana comes to visit for a surprise dinner, and I guess the twins believe she showed up to make them have to sit together and make up. Liz starts looking down her nose at Jessica, and talks about Robert going to the gas chamber, because she is a heinous bitch. Jessica screams at her that she hates her and then tells everyone else she hates them too for setting this up, and runs out of the room. Dramatic much? Liz stomps off and breaks Mrs. Bates’ rules by going onto the boys’ floor to talk to Rene. Hey, the guys keep pulling the same shit and Liz is clearly no longer someone who gives a fuck about rules anyhow. Even though Liz has never been on the boys’ floor, she somehow knows just where Rene’s room is, but his door is locked. She gets super pissed off because she thinks she’s entitled to Rene’s time and he’s supposed to just wait around for her to talk when she feels like it.
Liz tells Luke all about the investigation she and Tony did at Pembroke Manor, and Luke gets upset and tries to get her to stop the investigation. She decides not to tell him that she and Tony have the return address from Annabelle’s old letters, and are going to head over there next. That’s probably the first smart thing she’s done in this book. However, Tony gets too sick with his cold to go, so Liz ends up taking Luke with her after all.
Portia gets her dad, Sir Montford Albert, to escort her and Jess into Lady Henrietta Pembroke’s townhouse so they can question her, because Sir Montford is a famous actor, and nearly every single noble or person related to nobility is depicted as a simpering buffoon in these books so Lady Pembroke is sure to let Sir Montford in the house. It works. Lady Pembroke nearly swoons when she sees Sir Montford and is only mildly miffed he brought along the girls. Sir Montford quickly gets a donation pledge from Lady Pembroke for his theater company, then is all, “Right, see ya later” and swoops out leaving the two girls sitting there. Jessica merely states aloud that she knows about Annabelle and the Lady starts spilling the tea about their affair like it’s nothing. So yeah, Lord Pembroke had an affair with Annabelle, who wasn’t of the same class. I really am not sure if they started the affair before or after Lord Pembroke married Lady Henrietta. Annabelle had a child with Lord Pembroke but lied and told her husband that the child was his. And then Lord Pembroke had to keep paying for the child’s medical care, share Robert’s nanny with him, and so on, while Annabelle told her husband the payments were coming out of her pension from her old job at the London Journal, until Lady Pembroke had them cut the child off, because all the money in the marriage is apparently hers. Huh? And the child’s name was … *drumroll* … Lucas! Jessica yells that Luke is the killer and tears out of the house to find Liz. After calling Tony to learn where Liz went, she and Portia hop in a taxi to head to Annabelle’s old house on Forget-Me-Not Lane. Tony then gets worried and calls Lucy, and they head that way as well. On the way there, they admit they love each other and almost make out at a stoplight.
Liz and Luke arrive first, of course, and they just go ahead and break on in once they realize no one is home. Nobody has neighbors who give a fuck in this book, so it’s all good! Liz justifies it to herself as she has to break and enter someone’s fucking house for the sake of her investigation. Sounds like quite the reach there but okay Liz, go on and be a yoga instructor. They get inside and the lights are all out, and they have to light candles. Luke goes into the basement to try and fix the fuse while Liz heads upstairs and starts nosing around. She finds a man’s room with a framed picture of a smiling woman and little boy. She just goes ahead and snatches the picture and roams on down the hall into another bedroom. It’s covered in many years of newspaper clippings about the Pembrokes. Liz spins around in horror with her little candle in her hand, gaping at the newspaper clippings. She picks up a diary and reads about the writer having woken up in the woods outside of his father’s house in the country covered in blood and not knowing what happened. She realizes this is Annabelle’s son’s room. Good job, Einstein. Then a werewolf pops up in the doorway and asks if Liz likes his collection. She sees the werewolf is wearing Luke’s clothing and laughs it off because Luke must be just fooling around. The werewolf isn’t laughing and insists he can’t take his mask off. Liz looks at the photo and realizes that’s Luke with Annabelle in the photo … and that Luke is Lord Pembroke’s son … and he’s the killer! Liz, is your daddy a snail ’cause you are SLOW!
Luke in werewolf-mask tells Liz he’s killing people because his real father abandoned his mother and she died and it’s his father’s fault. On her deathbed, Annabelle told Luke who his real father was and he hasn’t been right since. He’s been determined to get back at his real father’s family ever since, his nanny, the doctor and nurse that treated him, etc. What about Lady Wimpole’s dog though? Luke does explain that he killed Joy because he thought she was Jessica, and he was mad at Jessica for planning to become the next Lady Pembroke when Luke’s mother never had that chance. Now he’s gonna kill Liz!
As Luke is about to pounce on Liz and rip her throat out, Sergeant Bumpo, Rene Glize, & Robert Pembroke the younger suddenly bust into the room with a gun. I guess Liz doesn’t want to send Robert to the gas chamber now! Liz sees Robert is dressed as the homeless man she just saw outside. The four men start wrasslin’ around on the floor and Robert threatens Luke by yelling he has the “silver bullet.” The gun gets knocked away, and Bumpo ends up shooting Luke just as Jessica and Portia arrive. Liz removes Luke’s werewolf mask and he happily tells her they killed the werewolf, then dies.
Liz and Jessica make up. Liz has to admit she was wrong about Robert, but does so kind-of half-assedly. Robert says he’s been hiding as a homeless man in the city pretty much the whole time he was on the lam, other than the time he spent with his old nanny. It was indeed him getting arrested by Bumpo outside the student housing! When Bumpo arrested him for vagrancy, Robert exposed the truth to Bumpo and had Bumpo book him overnight. Then the werewolf attacked Robert’s father while Robert was in the clink, and Bumpo realized Robert was telling the truth about not being the killer and they started working together. Robert did indeed come to the twins’ room earlier that same day, because he needed to steal the silver bullet to protect Jessica from Luke. I don’t get the whole silver bullet thing. I mean, we know silver bullets are fatal to werewolves and all, but … Luke obviously wasn’t a real werewolf. Maybe Robert thought he was? And it’s clear that Luke was trying to frame Robert by leaving his stuff at the murder scenes, but Robert isn’t sure if Luke was trying to frame him intentionally or not.
Rene tells Liz he was secretly (or not-so-secretly) following her around in order to protect her. Creepy. I still don’t get what the point was of bringing Rene back after all this time.
Liz steals Luke’s diary because she’s a klepto. She knows the police will want it at some point, but she wants to reads it in the comfort of her dorm room while bawling about what an idiot she is. Luke started keeping the diary when he was 9 and his mother had just died and he had learned the truth about his father. I swear they previously said his mom died when he was 6. The diary reveals that Luke started having “blackouts” as a teenager. He apparently acted as “the werewolf” and killed people and animals during some of these blackouts, which he didn’t remember later. As a result, Luke in his “normal” state honestly thought Robert was the werewolf and surmised that he must have come back from the blackout with blood on himself because he found the bodies. Luke also wrote in his diary about having worn Robert’s robe and taken his cigarette case but doesn’t remember committing the murders while he had those items. So he thinks Robert somehow left those items at the murder scenes, even though Luke remembers taking them himself? Oh yeah, and not sure where the damn “real” wolf fur came from. Luke’s last entry in his diary was a love sonnet to Elizabeth. (No, they don’t share it with us.) How touching. Does it mention wolfsbane in her hair?
Lucy and Tony realize they love each other, and get married a couple of days after this all ends. No, I’m not playing. Bumpo is there and he knocks a potted plant over on top of the wedding band.
Lord Robert the elder recovers and begs everyone to forgive him. He recognized Luke as his son when he first met him, but didn’t think Luke recognized him. Now Luke is dead and I guess that’s real convenient. Elder Robert passes ownership of the newspaper on to his “legitimate” son. No word on if Elder Robert is still desperate to hunt and kill a real werewolf or if anyone else feels sheepish for believing that Younger Robert was one. No one is really taking time to reflect on those shenanigans. I mean, if you got a rug and I got a broom …
Liz feels zero guilt over cheating on Todd with a serial killer. Zero, zilch, nada! (as she sings out to herself earlier in the book while looking over her stupid clues). Seriously, even if you happen to be a Liz fan, her sanctimonious crap was just over the top in this one.
I’m giving myself a hand, because when it comes to this whole plot reveal … uh, I pretty much NAILED IT. Because it was real difficult, hehe.
I loved this stupid ass, nutty mini-series. That’s true even though this last book was honestly starting to drag on too long (and it even opened with a too-lengthy recap of everything that happened in the first two books). I was starting to get pretty tired of the new formula post-A Night to Remember, and these wolf-man books made me laugh and gave me a welcome reprieve. I could still do without having the same story line dragged out over 3 books, but at least it was hilariously stupid. They already jumped the shark with the Jungle Prom and Margo, if you ask me, so they may as well just frickin’ run with it – and they did.
I do hope we can allow any future beaus of the twins to live past their teens.
Oh yeah, and pro tip: Never try to make actual sense out of this mini-series. Who’s got the Tylenol?
Other stuff: The ghostwriter misspells the name of Steven Wakefield’s girlfriend Billie as “Billy.”
There’s a scene where Tony passionately insists that Liz try to stick together with her sister to say safe. And then, “His eyes burned into hers and she felt a thrill of excitement, and fear.” For a moment, I really thought Liz would be adding a fourth man into her rotation.
Hot tip from Jessica: “People who write poetry are too wimpy to be murderers.” That was her reasoning for why it couldn’t be Luke (before she realized it WAS him, obvs).
“Jessica folded her arms across her chest and pushed out her lower lip …” She’s done that at least twice in this book. What a baby!
I’ve bitched about this many times before, but the lack of creativity with character names in these series really bugs me. The names Frank, Tony, and Lucy all reminded me of the Super Editon Malibu Summer, which had prominent characters with all of those names in it! There are several other repeats as well, but those three really stand out. Gah, come on y’all. To make matters worse, there’s a book coming up called Falling for Lucas that has nothing to do with THIS Luke / Lucas (or at least, as far as I can tell it doesn’t).
I’m too lazy to go back and try and figure this out, but I swear to god they kept changing around how long ago Luke’s mother died.
Rene tells Liz it was hard following her around, because she “really gets around.” Yeah, you got that right Rene.
Lady Pembroke declares that she knew the child her husband had with Annabelle was evil as soon as she heard the name, because Lucas is an evil name. What? Am I missing a reference to something?
Love the way Liz is always looking down on rich people when she just had Bruce Patman’s tongue in her mouth last mini-series.
People spent an awful lot of time in all three of these books fucking talking out loud to themselves!
Coming up next: We’ll go back to Sweet Valley, California, for some less supernatural drama, and take a look at a special extra or two. And, I’m guessing Todd will never be the wiser that Elizabeth was gettin’ some English werewolf ween behind his back.